Tuesday, December 4, 2012

20/20?

A gentleman was speaking yesterday about what forms and determines our "worldview".  Now, that's a pretty loaded topic, but it really made me think about my worldview and how God has used so many things to radically change my worldview and prepare for me for the ministry to which He has recently called my family. 
I was raised in the large metro city of Black, Alabama.  For those of you who have never been to or heard of Black, let me assure you that I am completely joking- there is one caution light and it doesn't work.  But it's a great place!  I went to school in Hartford, Alabama (because Black was too small for a school!), where there were about 49 in my graduating class.  My parents raised me in church and I was loved by my family.  I knew there were sad stories in the world, but for the most part I had never experienced real hardship so these issues were foreign to me.  I went to college on a leadership scholarship and married my high school sweetheart.  My husband was a youth minister and we worked with students in the church.  I am not pretending that my life was perfect, but compared to most of the world, I had it pretty good.
Then, eight years ago, God called me to teach in a 6A public high school.  Not only had I never taught in a school before (my degree is in nursing), I was working with students who did not fit my usual mold.  I was hearing stories that made my stomach hurt.  I soon realized that my worldview was, to say the least, inaccurate.  I learned that real people deal with real problems every day.  I learned that not all children are loved by their parents and that not everyone who has hardships is dealing with them because of his or her own mistakes.  I saw people who were really hurting and felt hopeless.  Wow!  As challenging as it has been, this call that God has placed on my life has been the most rewarding career I can imagine and I love it!  I truly believe it is a ministry.  I learn much more than I teach. 
In June, I had the privilege of joining in a prison ministry with the Neighborhood Christian Center.  I will be honest- I was very nervous before going.  I was worried that it would be dangerous and I wouldn't know what to say or how to act.  I was afraid they would all be huge women with deep voices and mean eyes. It only took a few minutes for me to fall in love with these ladies and this ministry.  They aren't big and scary at all! God has truly opened my eyes through this ministry and softened my heart. And just so you know, if you ask Luke on a Sunday night where I am, he will say "she's in jail"!
Following the first class I was helping with at the prison, I began going to a women's Bible study at the NCC.  There were women there from every walk of life- some with addictions, some who had recently been released from jail, some who were just dealing with day to day life struggles.  It was an interesting mix.  I actually started going with the intention of helping someone else, but God spoke to me in so many ways through this experience.  He even revealed my many issues! I will never forget one evening of the study- a young lady who had struggled with a variety of tough life situations, including a recent incarceration, made a comment that God used to change me forever.  She said, "I was at a point in my life where I knew about God and I knew that if I died I would go to hell, but I figured hell could not possibly be worse than what I was living in."  Wow!  It was as if someone put a knife in my heart!  I thought, "Dear Lord, there are people around me every day who are hurting this deep, and I am more worried about what I am going to wear tomorrow than I am about them."  He totally changed my mind about life, people, and church.  You see, she had heard all the words about God.  But what she needed was to SEE and get to KNOW Him- His love, His hope, His peace, His joy. 
A few days ago in my class at school, we were talking about roadblocks in life.  One of my students said that as a child she had vision problems and didn't know it, and therefore had problems with academics.  She said when she got her glasses, she couldn't believe how amazing and clear everything looked.  She said before then everything was blurry.  As I think about my worldview, I truly believe that my worldview was fuzzy until God changed my lens.  He has allowed me to see real people more clearly.  
I am by no means saying that now I can save the world because I see everyone the way God sees them.  I wish I saw everyone the way He sees them.  I am asking God everyday to show me more and change my heart.  I have so far to go.  But, I do think it is amazing to look back and see how He has prepared my heart for the ministry at 16th.  I had no idea this is what He was doing!  He has called us to a place where people are hurting and need a Savior.  I think if He had called us here 9 years ago, I would have freaked out!  I would have been scared to death of the people and their issues because they didn't exist in my world.  But, now, I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be.  I love going to the Boys and Girls Club in the afternoons and playing, painting, talking, and whatever else is going on with them.  I love when they run up and give me hugs and I get to hug them back. I love when they do my hair, even though they pull it so hard I have tears in my eyes.  I love walking in the community and just talking to people. I am so thankful He has called us here.  I ask you to pray for these children.  Please pray that God will use us to show them His love.  Pray for the neighborhood- adults and children.  There are so many sad situations, but we know God is greater.  We are so excited about what He is doing and is going to do. 
This is truly an example of how God doesn't call the equipped- He equips the called!  Let me encourage you to step out on faith and do whatever He calls you to do. If He calls you do something, He will provide what you need to do it.  It may be scary, but let me promise you that there is no greater place to be than right where He wants you to be!!  I pray that our worldview will be clear, but that our Godview will be even clearer. He is worthy!

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